Revising the loading screen tips and adding new ones #6957
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ShadowOfHassen
Stan
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Reference: 0ad/0ad#6957
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Delete Branch "Vantha/0ad:loading-screen-tips-revision"
Deleting a branch is permanent. Although the deleted branch may continue to exist for a short time before it actually gets removed, it CANNOT be undone in most cases. Continue?
This pull request is continuing D4189. (Should I add a reference to this pr to the diff?)
I have made the changes to the texts I deem right, and I'm opening it for review now.
(By the way, I'm aware the images aren't updated yet)
Also, this is my first pull request here, so I hope I have done everything as intended:) If not, let me know.
You can post a message on that diff, such as "Continuation over at #6957", and close the diff.
Was about to complain about the images, but you did good not uploading them, since the CI should have failed and it did not. cc @Itms.
@ -1,3 +1,3 @@ELEPHANT STABLEThe structure is available to some civilizations to train elephant units.Units gain experience while garrisoned inside the building.Available to the Carthaginians, Kushites, Mauryas, Persians, Ptolemies, and Seleucids to train Elephants.No one will ever remember to update this tip text when adding a new civ with a elephant stable. So I'd avoid any mention of civs here. Saying only available for some is fine tho.
Makes sense. I will change it.
This should be the changes that I think need done. Sorry for any repeats I had some difficulties with resuming the review in the middle.
@ -3,2 +2,2 @@Construct rams and train citizen soldiers.Garrison units to slowly heal them and protect the army camp from attacks and decay.Buildable in neutral or enemy territory. Good for setting up a secret base behind enemy lines or to consolidate gains within enemy territory.Constructs Rams and trains Citizen Soldiers of Advanced rank.Constructs Rams and trains high-rank Citizen Soldiers might be a better way of putting this?
Sorry Gitea doesn't have suggestions like GitHub so you'll have to make the changes yourself.
@ -2,3 +2,1 @@Train all citizen soldiers. Some civilizations can unlock the training of champions as well.Units gain experience while garrisoned inside the building.Build one early to train citizen soldiers while you phase up your settlement.Trains all Citizen Soldiers. Some civilizations can unlock the training of Champions in it as well.Should category names be capitalized? I think unit's proper names should be capitalized, but I don't think something like Champions should.
Well, codewise 'Champion' is considered a unit class and is therefore to be capitalized (according to the English style guide). I agree it looks a bit off at first but it's in line with the tooltips. It's fine in my opinion.
Barracks don't train "all" citizen soldiers, only citizen infantry. Stables train citizen cavalry.
@ -3,2 +2,2 @@Units gain experience while garrisoned inside the building.Build one early to train citizen soldiers while you phase up your settlement.Trains all Citizen Soldiers. Some civilizations can unlock the training of Champions in it as well.Units gain experience while garrisoned inside it.I'm not sure "it" is necessary here
Ok. Will remove it.
@ -5,1 +2,4 @@Trains all Citizen Soldiers. Some civilizations can unlock the training of Champions in it as well.Units gain experience while garrisoned inside it.Build one early to train Citizen Soldiers while you phase up your settlement.Build in a forward base to resupply your assault with fresh troops.It does that? I'm not a crazy 0 A.D. gamer, but don't you need to build a barrack in your sphere of influence?
I didn't know you could do that. I thought you could only build barracks in your area of control.
Yes, you are right. It's a misleading formulation. What this sentence is supposed to say is "Build in your (already existing) forward base ..." (and not that the barracks can be used to start a new one).
How about changing it to "Build near the front lines..."?
That works!
Trains Infantry Citizen Soldiers (line 2)
I'll go for just Citizen Infantry. That's the technically correct term here I believe.
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@BARTERAt the Market structure, a player can exchange a resource for a different type of resource.I think the ending is a little awkward. Maybe to change it to something like "At the Market structure, a player can exchange a resource for another of a different type."
Sounds reasonable.
Or maybe make it plural since you can't really exchange "a" resource? And change the "player" to "you"?
"At the Market structure, you can exchange resources for others of a different type."?
That's actually better.
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@BARTERAt the Market structure, a player can exchange a resource for a different type of resource.Rates are affected globally by all players. Turn this into an advantage by checking prices regularly.This is a cool fact I didn't know. If there's only so much metal on the map, I could gather it, then buy a ton of it, inflating the market and messing up the other opponents.
(Of course that assumes I can make it past the second level without the AI swarming me...)
I agree. I was really impressed when I first found out about this too.
@ -3,2 +2,3 @@The main Warship for the Britons, Gauls, and Iberians.Can transport up to 40 units.Can be improved with greater health and garrison capacity.Can be upgraded to greater health and garrison capacity."upgraded to" sounds awkward. I'm kind of fan of the "improved with" of the original text, but "upgraded with" also works.
I'm fine with reverting it. I wanted to indicate that it's a technology that does it.
I think we need to be careful with terminology, because the 'Upgrade' feature is something separate from technologies. 'Upgrade' improves one entity at a time, while technologies effect entire classes of entities.
"Research Special Technologies to improve with greater health and garrison capacity." or something like this.
@ -2,3 +2,2 @@Strong stone walls that help you protect your city.When your ranged infantry units are occupying the turrets, they have additional armor and can shoot at the enemy.Vulnerable to siege weapons like catapults, rams and war elephants.Ranged Infantry occupying the turrets get increased resistance and can shoot at the enemy.Can resistance be changed to defense? Defense sounds a lot better.
Not sure if that's the correct term.
It's technically resistance if that's what it says in the files, but I think defense gives new players a clearer idea of what it is.
In this sentence configuration, the word can also be interpreted symbolically - the units' defensive capabilites are enhanced by the fact they can take cover when occupying turrets. So, fine, I'll change it to defense.
I think it's more evocative to use "calls to action" in the sentence structure and wording. So, something like "Garrison Ranged Infantry on wall battlements to give them a strong defense and greater ranged attack." This tells the player to commit to an action which will improve their combat effectiveness. So, I would use commanding language whenever possible.
Not every sentence needs to be commanding or a call to action, but the more you structure things that way, the stronger the information feels.
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@CIVIC CENTERCould you rename the file to center? I think the development is supposed to be done in English US and centre is British.
Yeah, will do.
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@DEFENSE TOWERStrong watchtower, which helps you defend your position.Has a large vision range and will shoot arrows any enemy in sight.at any enemy in sight. Typo.
Will correct it. Good catch.
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@DOCKBuildable in neutral and allied territory.Constructs various Ships for economic and military needs.Is there a reason the word ships is capitalized?
Adressed in another inline comment.
@ -2,2 +2,2 @@The structure is available to some civilizations to train elephant units.Units gain experience while garrisoned inside the building.Available to the Carthaginians, Kushites, Mauryas, Persians, Ptolemies, and Seleucids to train Elephants.Units gain experience while garrisoned inside it."it" might not be necessary at the end of the statement
I'll remove it.
@ -1,3 +1,3 @@EMBASSIES AND MERCENARY CAMPSSpecial structures allowing you to hire mercenaries for your army.Mercenaries will not gather resources and cost only metal, but they are experienced and strong.Special structures allowing you to hire Mercenaries for your army.Is "Mercenaries" a technical term? I think in cases like "ships" and mercenaries, the word doesn't have to be capitalized, because they aren't the proper name of a unit.
Adressed in another inline comment.
@ -1,5 +1,5 @@FISHINGFish the seas for a bountiful harvest.Fishing boats carry a large amount of food per trip.Fishing boats carry a large amount of food per trip making it faster than gathering food on fields.Per trip is not needed, and the next paragraph says what you added.
How about removing the next line to avoid the duplication? (I think that was my original intent here)
That works.
Fishing boats carry a large amount of food per trip making it faster than gathering food on fields.
-> Fishing boats carry a large amount of food per trip and gather faster than workers on fields.
(its not really the capacity that makes them faster, they have a much higher gather rate)
@ -2,2 +2,2 @@A quick, cheap wooden wall available to all factions.Most factions have access to them in Village Phase.A quick, cheap wooden wall.Accessible to most civilizations in Village Phase.Available might be better than Acessable
Ok.
Also, maybe we can be consistent with where to put things in the bullet point list. "Availability" strings could/should be the first item in the list consistently.
Agreed. I will bring the entire list of tips into consistency.
@ -1,3 +1,3 @@TREASURESCollectible chests and bare resources on land and shipwrecks on the shore.Provide you with a resource boost, so keep an eye out for them as you explore.Collectible chests, bare resources on land and shipwrecks on the shore.comma after land
True. I will add it.
When uploading images, do note that you will have to git mv all the files that have changed names. As the game looks for the same name than the tip, but with the png extension instead of the txt one.
A question in general, should I always upload patches without any binary data like images first?
Yes, I'm aware.
No! That time is over 😃 You can send any assets you want. Just make sure that you have run
git lfs installat some point, or else Gitea will reject raw binary files.Ok, cool. 👍
On another note, all the reviewers ... were they added automatically or did I overlook to (un)check any option when creating this pull request?
They were added automatically, but it still needs some refinement :)
Would you mind updating this patch without the images to check it does indeed fail?
(that can easily be done by just touching the last commit timestamp with
git commit --amend --reset-authorand then force-pushing)I'm not quite following here. I already updated the patch a couple of times without the images. What do you mean?
We fixed something on our end, which should now make the pipeline fail when you don't upload the images. And we wanted to take the opportunity to test it with this PR :)
Ok, I see. I just updated it (without adding the images yet). Let's see if it fails.
Oh sorry looks like you need to rebase your branch first.
git fetch && git rebase origin/main && git push --force
Oh, ok. How about now?
Did you run the commands above ? Looks like it's still running the non patched version of checkrefs.py
@ -4,1 +2,3 @@Garrison units to slowly heal them and protect the army camp from attacks and decay.Buildable in neutral or enemy territory. Good for setting up a secret base behind enemy lines or to consolidate gains within enemy territory.Constructs Rams and trains Citizen Soldiers of Advanced rank.Garrison units inside it to slowly heal them and protect the Army Camp from attacks and decay.Army camps don't heal units, but I think they used to. Could just say Garrison units inside for protection and for additional arrows.
Good catch.
Additional arrows doesn't really make sense if arrows haven't been mentioned before. How about inserting the line "Fires arrows at at any enemies in sight" before?
@ -7,0 +2,4 @@Use Citizens to gather resources.Female citizens are best at gathering fruit and grain.Citizen Infantry excel at gathering wood, stone, and metal.Citizen Cavalry can only gather meat, but that super fast.but that super fast.
->but do so very quickly.
Yeah, that's better, thanks.
0b728b731atodb83570615db83570615toc8db8eb982My bad, I forgot to rebase the branch used for this pull request.
Anyway, it's now fully up-to-date with the upstream repository.
Edit: the build succeeded ...?
Now one pipeline failed. This is the intended behaviour, no?
Yes and no, it should have failed but not like that. This is good tho. Else we would have missed it.
Ok.
I found a stray image among the tips called syntagma.png that looks really cool. Would be a shame to leave it unused; I wrote a quick tip for it.
Tell me when you've pushed a fix. We can leave this PR open until you can verify it works as intended.
I think if you rebase and force push again, it should fail correctly.
d1ee618a5cto7d2c63cd0fOk, I just did so. Let's see.
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@SYNTAGMAA unique historical formation formed by Macedonian Pikemen.Features deep and tight ranks of soldiers pointing forward their long pikes ready to pierce any soldier foolish enough to attack the front line!Tight and deep I think sounds better. Don’t know why and facing might be better than pointing. Otherwise this looks good!
Awkward sentence. So, perhaps:
Yep, that sounds better to me.
Did it fail like intended this time?
In the thread on Phabricator there are several versions of the images. I went through them and picked the best for each. And I have to say, most of them look fantastic. The only one I'm not content with is the one for combine orders. I tried improving it myself, but didn't really like any result I got.
It might seem a bit drastic, but how about we just remove the combine orders tip entirely? It's kind of pointless and has alway been a thorn in my side.
@ShadowOfHassen
You're call really. I will confess, all my free 0 A.D. time I've spent writing/reading in the past 6 months. So my skill level is probably way lower than yours. Do you find yourself ever using what the combined order tip says? If not maybe it should be cut.
Yes checkrefs is failing correctly now :)
Not really. What the text describes is combining hotkeys (not orders). Which is, firstly, pretty obvious to be possible and, secondly, still too advanced to be helpful for the average player. I am going to remove the tip.
You could ask @wowgetoffyourcellphone for help with the tip image.
Its used quite a bit, but not often at all by new players. I think its something learned as players learn the game more, so maybe not really needed as a tip or a trick.
Added the images.
I agree. Newcomers should rather learn more advanced tricks like this by talking and playing with other players. That is what the community is for.
@wowgetoffyourcellphone
One tip image that should maybe be remade is loot.png. Although, I don't have a clue what it could show instead. Any ideas?
I found the trading and gathering tips to be too long to be displayed correctly, so I had to cut them down a bit. (We have to keep a safety margin to the maximum possible length because some translations might take up more space than the English text does)
@ShadowOfHassen Can you do a last double check (especially for the recently changed texts) and give a green light for merging this?
(The tip image I addressed in the last comment ... it's not perfect but I'm fine with leaving it as it is)
You need to rebase again :)
In theory you don't need to each time but we changed pipelines quite a bit.
039ec9216ctoc2204ee715It looks good @Vantha
Ok, nice.
@Stan This pull request is ready to be merged.
@ShadowOfHassen To make your review clearer, you can, in the "Files changed" tab, click on the blue "Review" button in the top right and choose "Approve".
@sera Can you confirm your comments are resolved and approve if relevant?
Thanks for the work on this y'all 😄
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@FIRESHIPAvailable to the Britons, Gauls, and Iberians.This is another list of exact civs that might need unexpected updating or isn't accurate for mods
Perhaps something like this that removes the list of civs*
As I said in the comment on the main thread, I believe we should keep the civilization lists (especially short ones like this) to let players know what civilization they need to choose in order to have access to the said unit.
@ -2,3 +2,1 @@Heavily armored and slow. Low attack.Used against cavalry or against other melee infantry to pin them in place.Available to: Kushites, Macedonians, Ptolemies, and Seleucids.Available to the Kushites, Macedonians, Ptolemies, and Seleucids.This is another list of exact civs that might need unexpected updating or isn't accurate for mods
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@SIEGE WARSHIPThe heaviest standard warship. Available to the Carthaginians, Ptolemies, Romans, Seleucids, and Han Chinese.This is another list of exact civs that might need unexpected updating or isn't accurate for mods
Could say:
Or something similar when saying such a thing about a unit or building is warranted, but you don't want to list the exact civs, because like you say it can be easily made outdated.
@ -3,2 +3,3 @@High Food and Metal cost, but very powerful.Available to: Carthaginians, Kushites, Mauryas, Persians, Ptolemies, and Seleucids.Attack individual units, but also deal splash damage to others nearby. Use them to break apart tight formations.Available to the Carthaginians, Kushites, Mauryas, Persians, Ptolemies, and Seleucids.This is another list of exact civs that might need unexpected updating or isn't accurate for mods
Yeah, remove it or put it first in the list for consistency and reword something like:
@sera I understand the practicality in removing the lists, but I believe there lies value in telling players which civilizations have access to a specific unit. I can imagine it to be annoying learning everything about a cool unit except where to actually find them in-game - we don't want players to need to search the entire structure tree for it then, right? Maybe we can agree on a middle ground?
I can happily live with it, unfortunately gitea doesn't allow me to resign ...
Feel free to merge either way.
from sera's comment
whoops, wrong feature used.
uuuh
@ -2,3 +2,1 @@Champion Spearmen and Champion Cavalry Spearmen for Carthage.Both are trainable from the Temple, instead of the Fortress like most other champions.Use the Spearmen as heavy infantry against cavalry. Use the Cavalry as heavy shock against siege weapons and skirmishers.Champion Spearmen and Champion Cavalry Spearmen of the Carthaginians."for the Carthaginians" or "of Carthaginian ethnicity" or "of Punic ethnicity" all work a bit better here.
I'll go with for the Carthaginians then.
@ -3,2 +3,2 @@When your ranged infantry units are occupying the turrets, they have additional armor and can shoot at the enemy.Vulnerable to siege weapons like catapults, rams and war elephants.Ranged Infantry occupying the turrets get increased defense and can shoot at the enemy.Vulnerable to Siege Engines like Catapults, Rams and War Elephants.So, congruent with what I said above about "commanding" "calls to action", you could reword this to:
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@CIVIC CENTERThe foundation of your new colony.Claims large tracts of territory.^Effectively incorporates 2 lines of text into 1, while giving a commanding "call to action" to the player.
Not sure about this one. It contains the words "claim" and "territory" twice...
But I think in this case my original sentence conveys things better within the game's vocabulary.
How about Claim large tracts of land by building them in previously unclaimed territory.?
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@CONTROL GROUPSYou can save your current selection to a hotkey by pressing CTRL + a number from 0 to 9 (by default) simultaneously.C2A
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@CONTROL GROUPSYou can save your current selection to a hotkey by pressing CTRL + a number from 0 to 9 (by default) simultaneously.After the control group has been created, you can quickly select them again by pressing the assigned number.Bolded can be removed. See how fewer words here makes it a C2A and also removes extra reading.
I'm getting into the weeds here on precise wording, but if you're interested in textural and verbal communication iterating like this can be fun.
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@DEFENSE TOWERStrong watchtower, which helps you defend your position.C2A:
@ -0,0 +1,5 @@DEFENSE TOWERStrong watchtower, which helps you defend your position.Has a large vision range and shoots arrows at any enemy in sight.Garrison Infantry inside to increase its firepower.See how this^ sentence as written is stronger than something like, "You can garrison..."
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@MAURYAN WORKER ELEPHANTServes as the only mobile dropsite in the game, enabling you to efficiently gather resources outside of your territory."only"
This may need changed if we merge to Germans civ.
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@MAURYAN WORKER ELEPHANTServes as the only mobile dropsite in the game, enabling you to efficiently gather resources outside of your territory.Units build 25% faster within its aura range.No longer has this aura. However, the Worker Elephant can construct buildings.
@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ORDER ONE UNITWhen right-clicking While holding the “Order one unit” hotkey (by default ALT), only one random unit from the current selection will perform the assigned task.I honestly didn't know this was a thing.
Yeah, that's the mechanic behind the "sniping" technique ...
@ -1,4 +1,4 @@OUTPOSTSBuild in neutral or own territory.@ -1,4 +1,4 @@OUTPOSTSBuild in neutral or own territory.Cheap and quickly built, but weak.@ -1,3 +1,3 @@PALISADE WALLSA quick, cheap wooden wall available to all factions.Most factions have access to them in Village Phase.A quick, cheap wooden wall.Or something like that. Like, "A quick, cheap wooden wall..." for what? Use it for what? :)
@ -3,3 +2,1 @@Structures +25% health.Build time lengthened by +20% as a consequence.Persians also have access to a great number of structural and defensive technologies.Special technology exclusive for the Persians.Either:
Best:
Or if you really want to use "for":
Depends where you want to put the word "exclusive."
I'll use the first option.
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@QUEUE ORDERSWhile holding the “Queue order” hotkey (by default SHIFT), you can queue multiple tasks for units by right-clicking.Generally, I'd leave out phrases like "you can" so that the whole sentence becomes a C2A.
@ -2,2 +2,2 @@The resource counter panel shows you how much of each resources you have at the moment.The number below it shows you how many citizens are currently gathering them.Located in the top left corner of the screen.Shows you how much of each resources you have at the moment and below how many units are currently gathering them.Suggestion:
Yes, that's a lot better.
@ -3,1 +2,3 @@The number below it shows you how many citizens are currently gathering them.Located in the top left corner of the screen.Shows you how much of each resources you have at the moment and below how many units are currently gathering them.Keep an eye on it while playing to avoid running out....at a crucial moment.
^Perhaps? To add a small amount of drama?
@ -0,0 +1,3 @@SELECT WOUNDED UNITSWhile holding the “Select only wounded units” hotkey (by default 0), you can select wounded units.You can customize the threshold in Settings > Game Session.@ -6,0 +2,4 @@The basic Melee Infantry available to every civilization in the game.Use against Cavalry for an attack bonus.Decent melee hack damage makes them good front line troops.Countered by ranged units and Swordsmen, so support your Spearmen with those or Cavalry yourself.Minus "yourself."
I added the yourself because of the "those" (Swordsmen)...
@ -0,0 +1,6 @@TEMPLETown Phase structure available to all civilizations.Trains Healers to heal your troops on the battlefield.C2A: (you, player) "Train Healers from here to..."
I think in this case a regular sentence fits better than a C2A. It is telling the player what a temple can do and not what or how they should use it. Does that make sense?
@ -0,0 +1,6 @@TEMPLETown Phase structure available to all civilizations.Trains Healers to heal your troops on the battlefield.Offers a series of helpful healing technologies.Same as above.
@ -1,4 +1,4 @@TERRITORY DECAYDecay happens when structures are not connected to an allied Civil Center.Structures too far off an allied territory root (usually a Civic Center) gradually lose capture point.points
@ -1,4 +1,4 @@TERRITORY DECAYDecay happens when structures are not connected to an allied Civil Center.Structures too far off an allied territory root (usually a Civic Center) gradually lose capture point.The decay process can be slowed down or reversed by garrisoning some units in the structure."Slow down or reverse the decay process by..."
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@TRADINGTrain Traders for trading on land at the market and Merchantmen for seaborne trade at the Dock.Market.
@ -0,0 +1,4 @@TRADINGTrain Traders for trading on land at the market and Merchantmen for seaborne trade at the Dock.Create a trade route by selecting a Trader or Merchantman and right-clicking on two trade points (Dock or Market). Longer distances yield more profits!Use the "Barter & Trade" dialog next to the menu in the top right corner to set how much of each resource type you want to trade for.I like "Open" here instead of "Use," but it's nbd.
Nah, I agree, will change it.
@ -2,2 +2,2 @@Collectible chests and bare resources on land and shipwrecks on the shore.Provide you with a resource boost, so keep an eye out for them as you explore.Collectible chests, bare resources on land, and shipwrecks on the shore.Provide you with a valubable resource boost, so keep an eye out for them as you explore.Perhaps "instant" is more important of a feature here than the resource boost being valuable. Treasures are different from other resource nodes by being instantly collectible and not requiring transport and/or drop-off.
Hey @wowgetoffyourcellphone thanks for the review. And sorry for the late reply.
I was (maybe wrongly) hesitant to fixate on one style, but if you think call to action is what to exclusively use here, I'll go with it.
(Beware that some conversations you commented on were outdated, so a few of the suggestions have already been applied. I should probably resolve the outdated conversations)
c2204ee715to49eb6816c4@wowgetoffyourcellphone Anything else to change? Or is it ready to be merged?
Can we merge this now?
Do I need to squash the commits into one?
Yeah would be nice for you to squash it (You can keep multiple commits if you think it makes sense)
Regarding merging it has @wowgetoffyourcellphone answered somewhere?
5c9e70a8d4toe9257edcdbOk, I don't think multiple commits are necessary in this case, I squashed them into one.
No, not yet.
(By the way, I can't get git to track the renaming of the tip text files, even after manually running git mv for every single one.)
So I don't see any reason to delay it further unless @ShadowOfHassen has something to say.
No, it looks good to me!
🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Thanks for all the help, guys. Cool 👍